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TABLOID TALK

By Beauregard Houston-Montgomery
Thursday, 3/31/2005 12:00 AM
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March 31, 2005

The tabloids have been piling up with but an occasional peek as I have been awash in a tsunami of irony. Whoever said it was dead was WAY off base. First it was fashion week, where the aforementioned emperor’s new clothes were anything but. Much as I love the pouf dress (or anything called pouf), it was perfected in 1957 - and not improved upon since. This was followed by The Oscars, that uptight corporate event which can be absent-mindedly perused while downloading internet porn. (Unlike The Golden Globe Awards, where everybody is drinking at, and sometimes under, tables and have to be watched as intently as one might, say, the inevitably mentioned movie of "Valley of the Dolls"...)

The red carpet was crawling with irony, as tired old closet queens who I have seen cruising the West Village and Chelsea for decades hid ... Read More


A WEEKLY "O.C." UPDATE BY ALEXIS PAGE

By Alexis Page
Wednesday, 3/30/2005 12:00 AM
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SCENE 1: BAD BOYS’ WATCH CONFRONTATION IN THE CABANA

Last week Ryan’s bro got out of jail and wanted Ryan to come pick him up, so Sandy went with him. Then, Sandy wanted him to stay at their house, so he moved into the poolhouse and Ryan took the guest room. Then Marissa, Ryan and the brother went to a store and the brother was asked by the manager to open his bag because he said he stole a watch. But the brother freaked out and kicked over a rack of clothes, thus proving that you can take the boy out of Chino but you cant take the Chino out of the boy. The brother denied taking the watch. Then, Ryan forgave the brother and told him to get it together as long as he was staying at the Cohen compound. Then, Ryan saw the watch in ... Read More


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